A somewhat unique, holistic simplified and nurturing method for preparing a baby registry.
Ten years ago, I was about 7 months pregnant with my first child. With the knowledge of an upcoming baby shower, I asked my friend for help preparing my baby registry. She had a child already. I had no clue where to even begin. We went to the huge baby item superstore and it admittedly felt like Christmas morning. I joyfully aimed that scanner thing at all the cute, pink, fluffy infant items one could want. I loved the idea of trading in my purse for a diaper bag. How exciting! It felt like a rite of passage. A twinge of nerves fluttered through me as I didn’t want to jinx the baby by “counting my ducks before they hatched” so to speak. I had thoughts about how wonderful life with baby would be and also hard hitting realizations that I was about to be responsible for a little human. I had never done this before. I felt overwhelmed, over joyed and over stimulated all at once. Now, years later, I realize it could have been more simple, effective and stress free had I known a few things. Most importantly, this ritual of preparation, left me no where near prepared for real life post baby.
Weeks before baby arrived my apartment was wall to wall with a huge amount of stuff. I spent weeks pre washing tiny cotton onesies with hypo allergenic detergent. I paced around waiting. At first it was exciting. Eventually, after baby arrived, all the stuff became a burden and more to clean and organize, as well as a waste of money and love. On the other hand, I suddenly had needs popping up, I never knew I would have. None of which were met. Motherhood, as we all hear often is extremely different in reality than our pre parenting expectations lead us to believe. Therefore, when you are registering for a baby, before the birth of your first child; it is difficult to know what you actually truly need. As a more practiced mom, who has been through quite a number of babyhood experiences ( I now have four children) ; take my advice below.
Ask yourself these three questions, and allow my answers to guide you.
Q: What will I need the most of after baby is born that I do not need now?
A: Sleep, Peace and Help
Before you even start thinking about baby gear, start off thinking about you. You may be thinking, this is totally backwards. Isn’t this the time of my life to be selfless, to think about the baby and put my needs aside? That is a slippery slope, I ask you not to journey along. While parenthood itself will inevitably propel you into a lifestyle that requires masses of selfless love and service; you have to keep conscious of what you need. In fact, there exists an even greater need to put yourself and your needs on the agenda, because the demands to give are so high. Trust me on this. A baby needs present, loving and joyful parents (at least mostly) The biggest factor in the transition from non-child households to parenting is the psychological and social adjustments the parents need to make. Not solely the gear one needs to buy. Many societies are aware and supportive of this time period. While we do not have a social system that recognizes and supports this chapter, you can individually pay attention to that which is needed proactively. Having a child greatly effects marriage and individuals. In fact, according to recent demographic studies, more than 40 percent of children born to two parents can expect to live in a single-parent family by the time they are 18.(psychologytoday.com)
To incorporate this into a baby registry, take the initiative and ask for contributions to several funds that are designed to increase your chances of a smooth and effective transition. You can do this on sites such as www.plumfund.com
1-Couples Coaching: statistic insert about how new baby effects couples http://www.designingmotherhood.com/design-options-new/
4-Yoga Classes/Gym Memberships
5-New Mom Circles/Support Groups
Q: What will the baby need before 6 months of age?
A: to eat, sleep, pee, poop and be transported
Anything that doesn’t fit into these categories isn’t necessary. Focus on the type of quality of each item and register for one you really will love for each item then avoid repeats. Ie; one place to put the baby during the day other than the crib such as a swing, but not a swing and an infant seat and a play yard, and a bassinet etc. Whether you go with a doc-a-tot or a rock-n-play (both are items parents swear by) you only need one.
One quality set of bottles and a sterilizer
Breast feeding cover, pads and bottles/pump only if you plan to leave the baby with others
Diapers and Wipes (you don’t even need a changing table) I used the floor, couch and bed on a towel or changing pad most of the time.
A safe carseat and a stroller you love. Having a good stroller is a big deal. It will motivate you to go out and make it easy when you do. Look for one that you can fold up and open with one hand easily, that turns easily and rides smoothly and baby will be comfortable in. This is one item worth spending more on. If you are active a jogging stroller or mini jogging stroller will enable you to easily make or keep a regular walk or run in your routine.
An awesome wrap or carrier that is comfortable, has pockets for your keys, cell, cash and a diaper.
A doc-a-tot, rock n play or similar item for baby to nap in during the day
Q. What will the baby need after 6 months of age.
A. One rookie mistake is only registering for infant/newborn items. Think ahead to the period from 6 months to a year. You don’t want to suddenly need to purchase a large amount of clothes and items as the baby gets older.
Larger size diapers
Larger size clothes
Teething soothers-Sophie the Giraffe is by far the best one!
A car seat that converts as baby grows (not solely and infant car seat)
Safety items for a crawling baby like socket covers/baby gates and door locks
A food puree machine and storage cups
Yes, you will need a small amount of absolutely necessary items for your new baby. But, keep in mind and in your agenda that this is a huge life transition. While it may not be handed to you to also prepare for the mental and emotional needs that go along with this life change, baby registries and showers are a big part of our tradition. Thankfully, you can tailor it to suit the deeper needs as well. This will enable you to fully prepare to bring baby home with gratitude and ease.
Olivia Treubig ©